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a touch
Hello everyone. I just got back from Albuquerque after a long, but fun weekend. I was privileged to be the Best Man (THE BETTER MAN!!!!) at my brother Dre’s wedding. It was such a beautiful wedding and my new little sister, Siobhan, looked beautiful in her wedding dress. Pastor Danny Sanchez of Victory Outreach Albuquerque performed the service. Although everyone was stressed out before the wedding, the wedding itself turned out great.
I got back from my trip and I felt drained. Not so much mentally or even physically, but more spiritually. Because of the wedding I wasn’t able to attend a church service this weekend (except for the actual wedding of course). We were driving back home to Houston all day Sunday so it felt like forever since I had set aside some time to be in God’s presence. The demands of being pulled this way and that way, trying to make time for friends and family and running around from here to there getting things ready for the wedding left me with little time to spend with God. Truthfully, besides a couple minutes of prayer in the shower each morning and prayer before meals, I didn’t have much time at all.
I left my guitar at home for this trip also. There wasn’t any room in my sister’s car with all our luggage and I knew I wouldn’t have much time to play anyways. When I got back to Houston late on Sunday night, I was hurting. It didn’t take me long to pick up my guitar, even though I was tired from a long trip. I was empty. My well was dried up. When I was finally able to open up my heart and worship God again, I regained my strength.
I started singing a song I wrote called “i need a touch from You” and it reminded me about what I was going through during that time when I had wrote that song. I was far away from God at the time. I had quit the worship team at my church and actually stopped going to church altogether. I was hurting and felt like I couldn’t go on. Nothing in my life made sense. I was running from the calling that God had placed in my life. I hadn’t played my guitar in forever. I hadn’t written a song in forever. I hadn’t truly worshiped Him in forever. I found myself crying out for God to touch my weary soul again. These are the words that came out:
“it’s been a long time, since the last time,
i was in Your arms
i’ve gone dry, trying to find,
words to bring You a song
i didn’t know that You, were waiting on me
to call on You, to come to me
so i’ll run to You, with arms stretched out
i need a touch from You right now
i need a touch from You (4x)
soothe me with Your glory
comfort me with Your grace
wrap Your arms around me
in Your sweet embrace”
Looking back, I thought I was doing alright at the time. I thought I could make it on my own. I didn’t need church. I didn’t need anyone. I didn’t need to play guitar or pray or read. It didn’t happen all of a sudden. It started slowly. I found that I was isolating myself from all my friends and missing church services now and then. After a while I wasn’t playing on the worship team anymore. Everything around me seemed to crash and fall apart. I wanted to give up. I felt like I was in the desert, in the valley, just lost and confused. My heart was sick and I was longing to be with God again, but my pride and my shame kept me for a time in denial.
I found myself one night drawn to my guitar again. My heart longed to be close to my Maker again. I picked up my guitar and started singing. It had truly been a long time since I felt God’s presence like I did that night. In the middle of all my hurt and pain, He reached down and touched me.
Maybe you’re out there right now and your life feels empty and void. You feel like you’re missing something. We all have a God-shaped hole in our hearts that only He can fill. Cry out to Him. Ask Him for that touch. He wants so very much to hold you in His arms and to comfort you. It doesn’t matter what you have done or where you have been. He still loves you and cares so much about you. He’s waiting on you to call out to Him so that He can give you that peace that surpasses all understanding.
May God continue to bless you and keep you.
w/muchluv,
geno
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